This morning, my breakfast was two giant spoonfuls of Duncan Hines Cream Cheese icing. Sick, right?
I have done good not to gain back everything that I lost last year, but back in June I let a heartbreak get the best of me, and from that point on I used every excuse I could find not to work out or eat properly.
Well, no more.
I stayed away from my blog because I was ashamed of the way I'd just let myself go. I thought many times about writing a blog about what I was going through...I experienced my first real, legitimate, earth-shattering heartbreak and it really messed me up. I probably should have written about it; it would've made me feel much better. Regardless, I didn't and it's over and reconciled now anyways, so there is no conceivable point in rehashing dirty details of a summer-romance-gone-wrong.
I cannot let that, or any other situation, define me anymore. I started on a path to fitness and good health for my OWN benefit, and I was, up to a certain point, doing incredibly well. Somewhere along the way, I lost sight of the progress that I was making and the goals that I had set, and indulging in food became more important than anything else.
I'm done. Starting this moment, my mindset is changing. I have to get back to where I was (mentally and physically) when I came home from school in May. A lot may have happened and changed me as a person, but I still have the same desire: to look and feel amazing, for no one but myself. I NEED this...I need to once and for all wrap my mind around something and genuinely change how I look at my life, in every aspect.
It won't be easy...because of being away at school, I can't do WW anymore. I can't have a meeting membership that will work both at school AND at home, and $40 a month is too costly to have to cancel over every extended break in which I won't be on campus. I've still got an online membership, but the challenge is going to come in actually logging my food and utilizing the tools.
I'm considering buying the eBook of the 17 Day Diet, hoping to kick-start myself and recharge my batteries, so to speak. Starting Sunday (I'll officially be back on campus), I'm going to begin the Couch To 5K program, and hopefully by mid-March, I'll be in much better shape than I currently find myself.
Ideally, I'd like to lose about 20 lbs by April 10th. My cousin is getting married on the 14th, so my family is taking a trip to North Carolina that weekend, and I've got a dress to fit into. It fits me now, but it's a bit more snug than I'd really like, so I know that dropping some weight will help out. Another 20 lb loss will (just a guess) put me at/around a size 14. That's not too shabby in my book, considering that I haven't seen clothes that size since the end of my junior year.
So this is it. No more excuses, no more relying on other people. Just me, myself, and a daily decision to look and feel better than the day before. I can do this, I know it. (:
Starting Weight: 206.0