Start of Something New

Excuse the cheesy High School Musical reference, but I felt that it was much needed.

Before I start, I'd like to give a disclaimer right off the bat: this is the third remodeling of this blog and (for various, unmentioned reasons) I have yet to be consistent with posts beyond two or three. While I don't foresee this being any different, my New Year's resolution is to try to be more post-conscious.

Now, as someone that does not necessarily join in on the hype of beginning a new year (although I was exceptionally excited last year in light of graduation), I'm just going to skip the whole 'reflecting' thing or making up some big story about how I'm going to change and become a whole new person just because the calendar has changed. I mean, I used to be like that, up until a few months ago. I wrote out yearly reflections, made montage videos, and said that I was going to make big life turn-arounds every year.

However, I don't find any of those things necessary anymore. I believe that this is because I'm finally comfortable, both with where my life is and with myself. I've discovered things about how I operate and how friendships are supposed to operate since I've been to college, and because of that I don't feel the need to try changing myself. I know that I'm doing what I should be doing and I'm learning to be my own person. I say "learning" because I still watch myself hold back or go with the flow, and I know that in time that will change--it's already begun to do so within the last six months.

Granted, I recognize that there are a few things that I need to do in order to help myself grow into the woman that I'm going to be. The two things that I want to focus on currently are my health habits and my self-confidence when it comes to the opposite sex.

I've been dieting since November (as well as practically my whole life, off and on), but that's just it: dieting. I made the decision to change my physical self because I was unhappy and because big health problems had risen to the forefront of my life. Being put on medication anyways, I knew that I could help myself out if I got into a healthy lifestyle. However, I never really made the lifestyle change that I needed to. Every time I go to a weigh-in and I'm not satisfied, excuses immediately pop into my mind as to why things went wrong. Enough of that. It's time to take responsibility and help myself out.

And then, my self-confidence. I often blame my lack of significant-other on my high standards, but the point is that I don't take initiative and thus probably (definitely) let good things pass me by. But I recognize that this too needs to change, and so it will. I go back to school next Sunday, and I can already feel opportunities presenting themselves.

For now, I'm taking things one step at a time. Step one? Telling myself every single day that I am beautiful, no matter what. For that matter, everyone and everything is. Remember that, dear readers: you are beautiful.

♥