Day 2

It's Day 2 on my protein-shake plan, and I've gotta say...It's a LOT more challenging than I thought! Not even so much the fact that I'm restricted from eating most of the day, because I don't really like all that many foods anyways. No, my problem is more the fact that I'm NOT constantly eating, so I get hungry like a normal person.

Yesterday, I went out to breakfast with a group from my church after our weekly prayer meeting to this greasy little diner in town. I sat there with my protein powder and a glass of cold water (note: the powder is GROSS mixed with water!) while everyone else ate eggs, biscuits, gravy, oatmeal, and french toast. Really, I was fine not eating, because as I said: food isn't a huge obsession in terms of WHAT I eat...just how much. The restaurant owner even brought out plates of fresh watermelon, so I got to munch on about three pieces of that to go with my shakes. This is a weekly outing, so I'm going to need to remember to bring my own milk (I'm only allowed to mix with skim milk and water, but the diner doesn't have skim milk), and probably my own fruit so that I don't hog all the watermelon from the rest of the table!

For my lunch shake, I took an idea that I'd been seeing on Pinterest for quite a while and froze a banana while I was at my job interview (which, by the way, went well!). When I got home, I had just enough time to make my lunch & change clothes before I headed off to my friend's senior track meet. I mashed the frozen banana in a cup, mixed it with my protein powder, 6 oz. of skim milk, and the tiniest bit of sugar free chocolate syrup for flavoring. It was fantastic! I also took some Laughing Cow and a string cheese for a snack, and we went to McDonald's for dinner, where I got a grilled chicken sandwich, lettuce and tomato. I must say, I was pretty proud of myself for it, but I wasn't pleased with getting Fast Food. Live and learn, I guess. Last night I had 7 triscuits and some more Laughing Cow since I'd eaten dinner so early.

Today, I drank the shake straight with just milk for breakfast. Then, my dad (bless his heart for trying to do a good deed) decided to make omlettes, bacon, and biscuits. He made me a veggie omlette with cheese, and so I had that and barely half a biscuit for lunch, and a string cheese a little later on. This just means that I'll do my second shake for dinner today, and probably have a small snack later on, like an apple or some cheese.

For what it's worth, I feel like I'm doing well. I made the decision to add in a few snacks throughout the day that aren't just fruits, because there is going to come a time when I'm going to have to eat more than just powder, milk, fruits, and one meal a day. I'm no dummy, and I know that the second I go from barely eating to eating an appropriate amount of calories, I'm going to gain back a ton of weight. So that's the reason for the cheese strings and the Laughing Cow/Triscuits. At least they're not terrible decisions!

Also, I'm no longer going to be alone in my journey...one of my girl friend's, Lauren, is joining me in my month-long regimen, so it'll be nice to have some support (and someone else sitting at the diner nursing a shake every Tuesday morning!)

I haven't yet weighed myself, I figured I'd wait until Sunday (going to Cedar Point on Monday, so I won't be by my scale) and see how week 1 on this program went! I probably won't blog again until then, however, so happy Wednesday! (:

-Britt

221.1 and Summer

Nothing like your doctor forcing you onto a two-protein shake and one-meal per day diet for the next month to get your butt in gear.

I guess that she didn't take too kindly to my gaining around another 5 pounds since Spring Break and my meds not working, so this is what I've been instructed for the next (at least) month. If it works, though, I have absolutely no problem continuing it for the entire summer.

Shake for breakfast
Shake for lunch
High-protein, low carb dinner
Fruits & veggies ONLY as snacks

This starts tomorrow morning. Hopefully it means more blogging, since I'll need to keep myself responsible for what I'm doing.

I've also got a job interview in the afternoon....fingers crossed it goes well, and prayers are appreciated! I really REALLY need to start making money this summer!

This Time, I Promise.

In the last few months, it seems that my blogging (and subsequent dieting/exercising/getting healthy) has been a whole lot of talk and not a lot of action. It makes me sad and ashamed, because there is absolutely no reason for it to be this way, and there is nothing that I can attribute it to other than my own laziness. I wanted the weight to come off; I wanted to be able to fit into all of my summer clothes and things that I haven't worn since high school. I wanted all of that and more, but I wanted it without the work. Late-night market runs for nachos, chicken tenders, Ben&Jerry's, and Bosco sticks meant more to me than making sure that my dress fit for my cousin's wedding (that is now just barely a month away!).

Every time I turned around, there was another "reason" that I couldn't exercise or make better eating choices in the cafeteria. There are some foods that really do react terribly with the medicine that I was on, but an upset stomach over a salad or veggies is better than a flabby stomach over pizza and junk food...I just need desperately to grasp that concept and keep it in the forefront of my mind at ALL times!

I went to see my doctor yesterday, 1. because I haven't been in for a PCOS evaluation since last spring break (a year ago on the 11th) and 2. because my meds for it went from making me feel sick because of certain foods to making me feel sick because of ANY food. I expected that I'd be only a couple of pounds lighter than I was last year, because I knew that I'd gained about ten pounds since the summer (when I'd stopped eating and was being a pitiful, broken-hearted moron)...but what I didn't expect was to actually be almost two pounds HEAVIER than I was at my last appointment.

I know that two pounds isn't really a huge deal, but knowing that I was almost twenty pounds less than that this summer makes me feel a whole lot worse. I was doing well this time last year, and I feel like (read: I know that) I have just given up. Part of me thinks that I should just start completely over and use the weight that was recorded at the doc's office yesterday as my "starting weight," but I know that this is a JOURNEY, and the stumbles, mishaps, and bad days are all a part of it. For that reason, I refuse to "start over" and forget about all of the progress that I made from October 2010. I may have cancelled my WW membership, but that was only because of money and the inability to attend meetings both at school and home, but that doesn't give me the right to stop!

After leaving my doctor's appointment yesterday with a different type and dosage of meds and the realization that, no, PCOS isn't a life-threatening thing...but if I want to stop it before it turns into something worse & keeps me from having the big family that I've always dreamed of, then I need to get my mind back to where it was this time last year.

I came home and dug through the closet until I found my mom's Turbo Jam DVDs: They were always some of my favorite things to do, and she used them all of one time before giving up and packing them away, never to be seen again. I rocked it out to the first workout, then made a shopping list of things to take back to school with me. Mama looked at me like I was crazy, but I think that she really does have a heart for seeing me achieve the goal that I've wanted for a long time, so she helped me write down ideas of snacks and healthy things to take back with me. Then I woke up this morning (kind of late, but hey: it's Spring Break...I deserve the rest!) and immediately jumped into the next Turbo Jam workout.

I don't know what we have in the house as far as healthy food options, but I'm determined to find something. I still have a little over a month before the wedding. While that is not the be-all, end-all of this whole thing, I NEED to make sure that my dress fits, since I haven't worn it since November. If I can just get a move-on and really get myself in gear, I'm confident that it will only get easier after that point. I just need to keep thinking of how rewarding it will be once I can slip into that dress and feel genuinely good, and see people that I haven't in months and be healthier than when they left...it'll all be worth it.

I WILL be more faithful in blogging. I'm busy: work, the last half of spring semester, and sorority initiation/new member process (oh yeah, I went Greek!). But with a good mindset (and reliance on God to keep me from sinking) I know that I'll be just fine.

So no more excuses, FOR REAL THIS TIME! It's all or nothing! (:

Back to School Update

Today was the first day of Spring semester for me, and I must say: I've never been this unexcited to go to school. When I got home Friday night, I literally cried non-stop all night long, and then continued when I woke up Saturday. I really just didn't want to come back.

It doesn't make much sense, because this is my first semester taking classes for my English major (I decided last semester to switch from studying Public Relations to Creative Writing), but I'm just...I'm not in the mood for school. I had an Economics class last semester that literally kicked my butt, and caused my GPA to fall below the minimum requirement for my academic scholarship, so I have to basically ace all of my classes this time around in order to bring it back to at least a 3.25 and keep the scholarship. Otherwise, it's goodbye college for me. I think that's part of it; I'm terrified because this is the most important semester

of my education, ever. Add on to that the fact that by the time it's over in May, I'll officially be halfway done with college, and in just two more years, it's "hello, real world."

I know that a big part of my sadness over the last few days is that a very close friend of mine had been visiting from North Carolina since the 30th (my birthday!!) and he was going to be heading home as well. It's hard having to say goodbye to friends and leave home, but it's even worse when those friends are also leaving. I know how much it hurts him to have to go home, because his heart is in Michigan and going back to NC kills him. But I digress.

Despite literally crying every single day since Friday, I've been doing fairly well. I got up this morning and had a breakfast shake, and I completed Week 1, Day 1 of C25K. I didn't have lunch today because I had a really emotional moment after talking t

o the aforementioned friend between classes, and ended up falling asleep for about an hour. However, I had a grilled chicken breast with a slice of swiss cheese on a bun and a bowl of chili and glass of skim milk for supper, and I treated myself to a frosted cookie just because.

Tomorrow, I aim to actually eat all three meals, and do some kind of workout, maybe abs or something, so that I don't just sit and do absolutely nothing on my off days of C25K. In the meantime, I really should go to bed and get a good night's sleep so that I'm prepared for classes tomorrow.

After finishing C25K today. (:

Comeback

I don't even want to talk about how long it's been since I've posted or even thought about posting. With that also comes the length of time that it's been since I've actually followed any sort of "weight-loss" program, and it makes me sick to even think about.

This morning, my breakfast was two giant spoonfuls of Duncan Hines Cream Cheese icing. Sick, right?

I have done good not to gain back everything that I lost last year, but back in June I let a heartbreak get the best of me, and from that point on I used every excuse I could find not to work out or eat properly.

Well, no more.

I stayed away from my blog because I was ashamed of the way I'd just let myself go. I thought many times about writing a blog about what I was going through...I experienced my first real, legitimate, earth-shattering heartbreak and it really messed me up. I probably should have written about it; it would've made me feel much better. Regardless, I didn't and it's over and reconciled now anyways, so there is no conceivable point in rehashing dirty details of a summer-romance-gone-wrong.

I cannot let that, or any other situation, define me anymore. I started on a path to fitness and good health for my OWN benefit, and I was, up to a certain point, doing incredibly well. Somewhere along the way, I lost sight of the progress that I was making and the goals that I had set, and indulging in food became more important than anything else.

I'm done. Starting this moment, my mindset is changing. I have to get back to where I was (mentally and physically) when I came home from school in May. A lot may have happened and changed me as a person, but I still have the same desire: to look and feel amazing, for no one but myself. I NEED this...I need to once and for all wrap my mind around something and genuinely change how I look at my life, in every aspect.

It won't be easy...because of being away at school, I can't do WW anymore. I can't have a meeting membership that will work both at school AND at home, and $40 a month is too costly to have to cancel over every extended break in which I won't be on campus. I've still got an online membership, but the challenge is going to come in actually logging my food and utilizing the tools.

I'm considering buying the eBook of the 17 Day Diet, hoping to kick-start myself and recharge my batteries, so to speak. Starting Sunday (I'll officially be back on campus), I'm going to begin the Couch To 5K program, and hopefully by mid-March, I'll be in much better shape than I currently find myself.

Ideally, I'd like to lose about 20 lbs by April 10th. My cousin is getting married on the 14th, so my family is taking a trip to North Carolina that weekend, and I've got a dress to fit into. It fits me now, but it's a bit more snug than I'd really like, so I know that dropping some weight will help out. Another 20 lb loss will (just a guess) put me at/around a size 14. That's not too shabby in my book, considering that I haven't seen clothes that size since the end of my junior year.

So this is it. No more excuses, no more relying on other people. Just me, myself, and a daily decision to look and feel better than the day before. I can do this, I know it. (:

Starting Weight: 206.0

On a Roll

Today, my WW monthly pass for the month of May expired. I didn't re-up because it costs a lot more for the membership at home than it does at school, and I was going to have to start over with my etools subscription. Instead, I got up this morning, went to weigh in one last time, and then changed my membership from a monthly to online only for the summer. I'm sure that this is going to be a challenge, not having to go every week and weigh in, but it's only for the next 2.5 months, so I'm hoping that I'll be able to manage it and hold myself more accountable for what I'm doing, since it's all on my own now.

After I weighed in, I decided to finally purchase a copy of the "Just 5" cookbook, which is a WW produced cookbook that has all sorts of recipes that are made with five (or less) ingredients. The best thing is that it includes the PointsPlus values for all of the foods so there's no extra calculating. I plan to use it quite a bit this summer, as well as once I get back to school for the days when we feel like having roommate dinners.

I also bought a box of snack bars, in the "Chewy Chocolate Caramel" flavor. To me, they taste almost like a Milky Way, so I can sort of trick myself into thinking that I'm eating a candy bar, when I'm really eating a healthy snack that only costs me 2 PointsPlus.

Now, on to the weigh-in. All I needed to do in order to hit a 10% weight loss this week was to lose 0.6lbs. I've been really busy at work and missed lunch a few days, but I was never entirely hungry, other than Monday, when I ate an early breakfast and spent all day trying to (finally) unpack from college and then had a relatively late dinner. Other than that though, I was pretty satisfied with breakfast, a snack before work, one after work, and then dinner. I need to figure out a better plan though.

For now though, I weighed in this week at a very exciting 202.6lbs, which is a 3.6lb loss since last week, which puts me over 10% and only about 5lbs away from having lost 30lbs! I'm ecstatic!

Expect pictures for CERTAIN within the week!

-Britt

Big things are happening!

It's finally summer vacation for me. Actually, it has been since May 3rd, but my grandpa passed away before I even made it back from school and then I was job interviewing and starting summer classes, and still not really eating right, so I was too ashamed to blog. That's not good.

But I'm back, baby...and I'm here to stay! My WW membership expires in a few days, but because I'm not able to weigh in at the center near campus, I have to just let it expire and start using only etools and get a reliable home scale. This scares me a little, but I'm pretty confident that I can do it!

I've got to get a shower and get ready for work, but here are a few VERY good things that have happened recently:

1. I got a job. A LOFT opened up in our mall, and I applied just for giggles. Turns out, it was the best decision ever! Grand opening was yesterday, and I worked the busiest shift of the day. So many people came in that were excited that we finally have a LOFT, and even more that had never heard of the place, but ended up buying a significant amount of stuff.

2. I'm down another clothing size! After work yesterday, I went back to LOFT with a friend to buy some work clothes. I get a 50% discount, so I planned on spending quite a bit to get me through the summer. I ended up with a yellow ruffle top with white and beige polka dots, a white linen wrap sweater, and a pair of dark wash knee-length crops and a bright pink and orange striped t-shirt, and then a lime green linen skirt and plain white tee, all for only $116.60! Best of all, the shirts are all size Large (and even a bit loose like that), and the shorts/skirt are (you're not going to believe this) a size 14. FOURTEEN. I almost fainted when they actually fit. I'd set my mind to the fact that they weren't going to, and I was okay with it, knowing I'd just have to work harder to be able to wear them. But I decided to try them on to see how much more I'd need to lose to wear them, and they were perfect! A bit more snug than I usually wear, but that gives me room to shrink into them all summer!!!

3. I've started doing Zumba. I bought the Zumba fitness game for the Kinect on Wednesday, and I'm currently blogging with sweat dripping down my forehead. Zumba is HARD WORK! Let me tell you though, it's fantastic! I had an absolute blast, and I can't wait for tomorrow afternoon for my next workout! Wooo!

4. I lost weight (first time in a month!) I went to WW today expecting to have lost maybe a pound or two. I had my wisdom teeth removed last Friday, and only started eating solid foods again this past Wednesday. I figured that there'd be some change, but that it would probably just be the 3ish pounds that I'd put on over the last month. Boy, was I wrong. When I stepped on the scale, even the woman behind the counter gasped. In the last two weeks (I didn't go last week because I couldn't drive/was looped out on pain pills for my teeth), I've lost a total of 6.2 pounds!!! Right now, I'm only 0.6 away from losing 10%, and I'm pretty sure I can do that this week.

My goal is to have lost 10% by Friday so that I can get my medal and set an UGW at the next meeting....Fingers crossed!!

If I make the goal, then expect progress pictures coming at the end of the week as well! I'm due for some 20lb ones anyways, so hopefully I don't forget!!!

-Britt